The Trouble with Defining Ourselves
The more we define ourselves with who we are and who we are not, The More we limit ourselves to new possibilities and perspectives
Key Point
Embracing flexibility in identity offers freedom from rigid self-categorization and allows for a more fluid, adaptable approach to life.
Fill in the sentence: “I am __________.” Now, are you this 100% of the time, in every situation, in every place, with every person? Probably not. Who we are is “flexible”. It changes based on context. We can be flexible, adaptable, and changing.
”Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.” - Bruce Lee
Consider the person who defines themselves as outgoing. Are they always outgoing in every scenario? Unlikely. What if instead, we embraced the notion that our identity is fluid, shaped by the context in which we find ourselves? Is it true that we act differently at work, with family, and with friends? We become adaptable to help fit with the situation we find ourselves in.
Having the flexibility to navigate through situations and adapt as needed can empower us, granting a greater sense of control and capability. We're not bound to cling to specific titles or labels. Instead, we can embrace who we need to be to support ourselves and those around us best. This approach might provide more freedom from yourself and the brain’s desire to categorize yourself in a certain way.
Embracing this new perspective may require a certain "willingness." It entails letting go of the old mindset and nurturing the growth of this new outlook. By leaving unhelpful habits and patterns behind, we make room for a healthier alternative that aligns with our values and enriches our lives with deeper meaning.
Questions to Consider:
What if you approached each day as if you were a blank slate, capable of learning, adapting, adjusting, and changing? How would your day be different if you started with this perspective?
About the Author
Christopher Morrison is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Board-Certified Music Therapist. He is additionally trained in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR and The Bonny Method of Guided Imagery & Music. He is the owner of Mind & Melody Therapy Services, working as a psychotherapist and music therapist for ages across the lifespan. He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, addiction and grief.
