Developing Trust After Traumatic Relationships
Trauma’s Impact ON Connection WIth Others
Key Points
Trauma deeply influences our ability to connect with others, leading to difficulties in trusting and feeling safe in relationships.
Past experiences of pain make it hard to trust, causing us to instinctively build walls and withdraw from meaningful connections.
While healing from trauma is challenging, it's also an opportunity to discover resilience and uncover the beauty of personal growth.
“You are my home, yet I know that even a home can house monsters” - Simone Stellenboom.
Trauma has a profound impact on how we connect with others. When we experience pain inflicted by others, rebuilding trust and a sense of safety can feel like navigating a maze. We start to question the authenticity of relationships and instinctively put up walls. Even when we stumble upon someone who feels like “home,” we’re haunted by past experiences, expecting them to turn into a “monster.”
Consequently, relationships become challenging. We withdraw, struggling to forge meaningful connections. It’s a natural response, understandable, considering the scars we carry. It’s no surprise that betrayal or broken trust would make us wary of others or of extending trust to others. Yet, resigning ourselves to a solitary existence isn’t the ultimate solution. Isolation can be the safest refuge, allowing immediate comfort and safety. But we risk developing meaningful relationships and positive connections with others. Furthermore, safety in isolation or withdrawal comes with a cost.
So, how do we relearn to trust? It can start with a courageous step forward. We can begin by honoring our boundaries, allowing ourselves the space to heal without rushing the process. Perhaps the most profound step towards regaining trust is found within ourselves. It's about cultivating self-compassion and recognizing that our worth is not defined by the actions of others. Being gentle and compassionate to ourselves is the best gift we can offer.
Questions to ponder:
- How would I nurture myself if I believed I deserved love?
- What toxic patterns would I let go of if I valued my worth?
Healing is a journey, often a challenging one. But within this journey, we uncover the true beauty of resilience.
About the Author
Christopher Morrison is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Board-Certified Music Therapist. He is additionally trained in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR and The Bonny Method of Guided Imagery & Music. He is the owner of Mind & Melody Therapy Services, working as a psychotherapist and music therapist for ages across the lifespan. He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, addiction and grief.
